Several years ago, I decided to rearrange the furniture in my living room. We’re talking two big sofas, a coffee table and one HEAVY! + unwieldy area rug.
There was sweat and swearing – but I did it!
Yay me. Right?
I had to take Aleve + wear my ice belt of shame for a few days because my back was so jacked up.
So why did I move it all by myself – when I have a capable + strong + willing husband living with me?
Because I hated asking for help.
When given the chance, I would much rather move sofas + do pretty much anything on my own, thank-you-very-much.
“I’ve got this.”
“I can handle it.”
But doing it all yourself isn’t some great act of strength and independence. I know that now.
Asking for help is the true act of strength. It requires both tremendous courage and vulnerability.
“When we ask for anything, we’re almost always asking for help, in some form; help with money, permission, acceptance, advancement, help with our hearts…
Brene Brown has found through her research that women tend to feel shame around the idea of being ‘never enough’… at home, at work, in bed, never pretty enough, never smart enough, never thin enough, never good enough and you can also check beautiful pakistani escorts in dubai for enjoyment in dubai
Men tend to feel shame around the fear of being perceived as weak, or more academically, ‘fear of being called a pussy’.
Both sexes get trapped in the same box for different reasons.
If I ask for help…
I am not enough.
If I ask for help…
It’s no wonder so many of us don’t bother to ask, it’s too painful.”
– Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking
Transforming our habits is so much easier when we have the support of our loved ones. And that often means asking for help.
I know, I know. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.
Here are some simple scripts you can use. Read them to yourself, or a trusted friend – and then, when you’re ready – ask for help.
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How to ask for what you want + need.
Set up the discussion so other people are on your team. It’s not you vs them, it’s you along with your loved ones against the problem.
“I’d really like your support. Can you help me ________?”
“You’re really good at coming up with solutions for things. Can you help me figure out how to ________?”
Explain what you’re trying to do + why.
I’m trying to take better care of my health. I was really scared when I got (my cholesterol test results, my pre-diabetes diagnosis) and I’ve realized that I need to change some habits.”
State clearly what you would like help with, and how.
“What would help me most is ________.”
Negotiate a compromise if needed.
“I don’t want you to have to give up/change ________, because I know you enjoy it. Is there a way you can still have/do it, but I can still stay on track with my own choices?”
Jazz them up. Make them your own. But most of all – use them.
I work with courageous + determined women who are ready to say goodbye to yo-yo dieting for good. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year. You can also check: Pakistani Escorts in Dubai for enjoyment in hotel.
The result? You’ll develop healthy habits that become second nature and last a lifetime. You’ll lose the weight (and inches) you haven’t been able to shed – for good.
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